You.You.You - New Year, Still as AWESOME.

Hey... it's OK:

1. If you love your smile lines. They're a reminder of how hilarious your friends really are.

2. It's really OK if the winged eyeliner on your left eye isn't quite as perfect as it is on your right eye.

3. It's OK... to not know what any of the 'F' keys on your keyboard actually do.

4. It's OK... if regardless of how broke you are, you always have money for a bikini wax.

5. It's OK... to actually welcome the one month were you're not expected to go out at all.

6. It's OK... to replace a dead light bulb with one from the corner lamp instead of buying a new one.

7. It's OK ... if one cookie is not enough. That's why they come in a packet.

8. It's OK... to take spooning over sex any day of the week.

9. IT'S OK... TO WANT TO BE THE ONE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER.

I'm a Poet. I understand the power of words.

PRIMAL

You can run, but...

I have an image of myself racing through the

corridors of time, fleeing something. Time, space, people, and events

keep rushing past. I keep flying them, 

twisting and turning, looking for a dark place to hide.

I spin out and plunk myself down for awhile on some island

of relative peace. Just as I am catching my breath, an

earthquak, tidal wave, an epidemic, a war intervenes and I

am off again, running as fast as I can. There is no where to go

and no-one to see. Just the flight itself.

What am I fleeing? Who I am fleeing? I have no idea how to

escape it! I can't go any faster. I can't find better hiding places.

It pursues me. I feel its hot breath on my neck. I don't dare

look behind me. Please, please leave me alone.

Whoever you are. Can't you see I just want to be left alone?

Why can't you leave me alone? Whoever you are.

One day I found my courage and turned to face my dread

pursuer. It was only a small child!

I exclaimed in my amazement: "Why have you been following me

so long and so hard?!"

She said: "Only to tell you this:

Remember your waking and your dreaming.

Accept everything you experience. See your 

obstacles and learn to remove them... and follow

your heart."

With that this wise child smiled tenderly at me and walked

away, singing a song. Over her shoulder se tossed me a key.

I turned the key over and over in my hand and at that moment I decided to stop running. But I must admit to you that I didn't truly understand what she had said to me. 

Nevertheless, I stood my ground... or rather I sat. Right there, where the child had left me. I sat for what could have been a moment of a day. And as I sat, I began to see visions of what I had always hoped might one day be. 

Tears were flowing upward from my throat: a fountain of losses, griefs and pains. 

And then I could hear the echo of a steel trap poised to slam shut as it had so many times before. But this time  the gentle loving light and the memory of the singing child gave me courage to continue on my way. For a season... 

A little unhinged,

I squared my shoulders

and stood to face a new day.

And so, squared off and ready, I set out on a new and thoughtful, well-considered journey, slower of pace than my frenzied flight of yesteryear. I began to walk through my City looking for old familiar haunts, my friends and family, some tenuous connection with the past and some faint glowing hope for a golden future.

Perhaps, I thought, the answers to my questions, even the meaning of the key the child has flung at me, would miraculously appear in the very place I had tried to leave behind. 

During this almost aimless wnadering, my brain never stopped concocting its reasons, plans and schemes, hammering away at me, day and night, full of its sorry excuses, its grandiose ideas. But still I thought I could take comfort in the familiar life that I had know before... couldn't I?

Dear friends, you may not be surprised at all to hear that it wasn't long before I had splintered into a million, million fragments of my former self. There was no such longed for comfort to be found in my City. I had looked behind the wizard's curtain and found a little gray man carefully pulling all the strings. Puppets all and the play a sham! My glorious vision, a distant memory of an opening heart, the biggest sham of all. Everyone and everything seemed as insubstantial as empty ghosts, and I, the very hungriest ghost of them all. 

Every time I turned around my City, I bumped into some new piece of myself. Oops, there went Saint Joan, Saviour of the world. Someday they will know and love me. Ah, there goes Mouse Woman, the one who's afraid of her own shadow. Oh, there you are, you old Devil, the one who constantly carps and criticizes everything and everyone. I'm really sick of you! Then there's Robot Woman who puts her head down and follows the lastest series of tasks she has set for herself. No looking up now. And let us not forget Whiny One who can't figure out why things have to be so hard all the time. 

Well, I guess you get the picture. A bit like one of Picasso's deconstructed masterpieces. An eye here, a nose there. A bit of jumble it seems to me right now. I'm not nearly as calm about this as I sound. I'm really in a state of panic over this fragmentation. I can't find anything to hold onto. These pieces just keep jumping around and slipping past me. I have no self to cling to, no one to use in social situations when I need a role to play, a person to be. None of these identities is adequeate for the ocassion. 

Perhaps they all seem so negative because they are so incomplete

in themselves. They need something more to give them in life.They need to come together. And they need a bigger perspective. A little joie-de-vivre is most definitely in order!

I'm tired of these chilly pollar extremes,

full of fire one day

emply as ice the next.

I decided to look inside for the answers.

My dreams began to inform me. I listened to the wisdom of the

great sages of all the religions. I thought about my experiences in the

light of these truths.

I grew very tired of myself.

I grew very tired of my little self. 

I am not this, not that, not the other.

The Christians say, go forth and be filled

with the Holy Spirit.

The Buddhists say your true nature is Clear Light.

There is something more than meets the eye.

Dive deeply below the surface of your life,

what will you find there?

Turn on your searchlight,

use your miner's helmet,

and dig through the debris of all your days.

Fear not - gold gleams within the darkness.

We are not this, not that, not the other.

Horsforth, England.

HowToHaveABetterDay.

Ya sé que a veces nos levantamos demasiado pronto. O demasiado tarde. Depende cómo se mire. Pero hay mañanas en las que darías todo lo que tienes por quedarte durmiendo. Y otras que lo que más deseas es saltar de la cama por el día que tienes por delante. Sea como sea el día que te está esperando ahí afuera... nunca nos resulta del todo fácil. 

Realmente hay días horribles. En los que ves todo completamente... negro? Esos días, los empujones en el Metro se hacen insoportables. Las clases en la universidad soporíferas y solo quisieras gritar: ¡LEAVE ME ALONE! Está bien. Todos tenemos días de esos... pero aprendí una vez que no todos son así.

Por eso de que coges el móvil y esa persona especial te ha mandado un mensaje (o hablado por Whatsapp por los tiempos que corren) o porque has entrado en la FNAC y te has comprado un libro que no puedes esperar a leer. Porque te has tomado un café del Starbucks con tu mejor amiga o porque has abrazado a tu madre al llegar a casa. 

Sí, claro. Hay días insoportables. Y otros en los que desearías estar despierto para siempre. 

Our deepest fear.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. You are a child of God. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates other.

the single set of footprints.

One night I had a dream

I was walking along the beach with my Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene I noticed two sets

of footprints in the sand,

one belonging to me

and the other to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

There was only on set of footprints.

I realized that this was at the lowest

and saddest times in my life.

This always bothered me

and I questioned the Lord

about my dilemma.

"Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You,

You would walk and talk with me all the way.

But I'm aware that during the most troublesome 

times of my life there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why, when I needed You most, 

you leave me."

He whispered,  "My precious, precious child,

I love you and will never leave you,

the single set of footprints were the times I carried you."

YouYouYou!

Let's celebrate... YOU!

1. Hey, it's OK to keep Champagne for a special occasion, then drink it one random Thursday as you can't be bothered to get wine from the shop.

2. Hey, it's OK to smudge your fresh manicure when you get out your purse to pay (you're keeping the salon in business!)

3. Hey, it's OK to be making New Year's Eve plans already.

4. Hey, it's OK if you have to use a mirror to put in lenses, eye drops and earrings.

5. Hey, it's OK to blame your bad week on Mercury in retrograde, even if it isn't, and even if you don't know what it means anyway.

6. Hey, it's OK yo switch treadmills because you don't want to run next to Athlete Girl.

7. Hey, it's OK to get really annoyed when people don't say thank you. Manners cost nothing, people!

8. Hey, it's OK if most of your post still goes to your parents' house.

9. Hey, it's OK if you occasionally do the "I am reaching for my wallet but have no intention of paying" move on a date.

Leeds.

Y por fin ya veo la luz, ya la niebla se ha marchado... 

Esta vez todo es tan distinto... para mí el mundo ha cambiado.

But i'm bigger... I'M BIGGER!

Quiero ser Escarlata O'Hara o nada!

Aunque ya nada pueda devolver la hora del esplendor en la hierba,

de la gloria en las flores... no hay que afligirse.

Porque la belleza siempre subsiste en el recuerdo. 

Hey, it's OK...

Hi there, you you you... go, go, go!

1. it's OK to feel an Oscar-winning sense of achievement when you finish reading a hardback.

2. it's OK to open your payslip every month with a sense of expectation, only to see the same amount as the month before.

3. it's OK if you don't have the foggiest idea how to talk to a three year old.

4. it's OK to absolutely fancy a guy until he opens his mouth.

5. it's OK to be so over all film and TV sequels. Seriously, are there no new ideas left in the world?

6. it's OK if you don't want your friend to buy the same dress as you - even if she does promise to wear it on different days.

7. it's OK to look up, realise you're both on your phones while sitting in a restaurant and totally feel like one of those couples.

8. it's OK if your winter wardrobe mainly consists of your summer wardobre + tights.

Mi vida termina tras los muros de Verona.

A mi me gustaba mucho escuchar a Sara cuando se ponía a divagar, a contar episodios de su vida o cosas que pensaba, incluso cuando eran tristes. Uno de esos viernes que quedábamos varios de la clase a las 9 para desparramar un poco, ella y yo nos sentamos en la acera y me dijo que le gustaría rebobinar a cinta de su vida, dar a la pausa en el momento en que todo se estropeó y a partir de ahí. Lo malo era que desconocía cuándo había sucedido eso, cuándo su vida hizo clic, cuándo los renglones empezaron a torcerse y las estrellas a perder el brillo a brillar desde más lejos. 

Y decirte alguna estupidez, por ejemplo, te quiero.

- Martín Casariego Córdoba-

(página 83; capítulo 15)

Yo sólo quería demostrar que éramos capaces. Lo que importa es el viaje, no la meta. Lo que importa es el camino que no tiene retorno. Lo que cuenta no es el resultado, sino el esfuerzo, el reto, no el fin. Lo que importa no es la vida, sino estar vivos.

(página 128; capítulo 25)

Duda que sean fuego las estrellas

Duda de que el sol se mueva

Duda que la verdad sea mentira,

pero no dudes que amo.

- William Shakespeare -

Un Lucky Strike, por favor.

Puede que un día te levantes. Como decía aquella canción... con la frente marchita. Y sientas que tienes un gran camino por delante. Que te espera el mundo. Y la ilusión de seguir pisando fuerte. 

Pero llegará el día en que, sin querer, mires hacia atrás. Y no puedas aguantar las lágrimas al recordar lo mucho que has vivido. Y las personas que estuvieron a tu lado. Entonces, claro... necesitarás un cigarrillo. Un Lucky Strike. Para olvidar que la vida, es un camino de sentido único. Y que no tiene lógica dar marcha atrás. 

So many MILES to go.

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando.

They were shining there for you & me, for liberty... Fernando. 

Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret.

If I had to do the same again, I would, my friend, Fernando. 

Esta canción me trae recuerdos. Cosas bonitas. Que no se lleva el viento.

No choice.

No. No hay forma. Como si no hubiese salida. Ni puertas entreabiertas. No hay pasillos mal iluminados. Ni señales a lo largo de los caminos que se tuercen y desembocan en una habitación vacía. 

Pasan los días y el dolor sigue ahí. Las ventanas se han convertido en un laberinto. De menta y regaliz.

Que no acaba nunca. Y mis pasos se sienten inseguros sin ti.

Soy un desastre. Me he sentado en la arena. Y veo pasar a la gente. Pero no tengo ganas. Desearía escuchar tu voz más que cualquier otro sonido en el mundo. 

Harry Potter

A movement is spreading across the internet, and you've probably heard of it. When the credits on the 8th movie begin to roll, everyone who has loved Harry Potter over the years will raise their wands in the air and say "Mischief Managed"

The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - that's all that matters.

- Audrey Hepburn. 

A little fall of rain.

Don't you fret, Monsieur Marius

I don't feel any pain

A little fall of rain

Can't hardly hurt me now

You're here, that's all I need to know

And you will keep me safe

And you will keep me close

And rain will make the flowers grow.

But you will live, 'Ponine - dear God above,

If I could close your wounds with words of love.

Just hold me now, and let it be.

Shelter me, comfort me

You would live a hundred years

If I could show you how

I won't desert you now...

The rain can't hurt me now

This rain will wash away what's past

And you will keep me safe

And you will keep me close

I'll sleep in your embrace at last.

The rain that brings you here

Is Heaven-blessed!

The skies begin to clear

And I'm at rest

A breath away from where you are

I've come home from so far

So don't you fret, Monsieur Marius

I don't feel any pain

A little fall of rain

Can't hardly hurt me now

Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine,

You won't feel any pain

A little fall of rain

Can hardly hurt you now

I'm here

I will stay with you

Till you are sleeping

And rain...

And rain... 

Will make the flowers...

Will make the flowers... grow... 

in·praise·of·boredom

Te aburrirán tus diferentes trabajos, tus diferentes novios, las vistas desde tus ventanas, los muebles y el papel pintado de tus habitaciones, tus pensamientos, y tú misma. Por tanto, intentarás encontrar vías de escape... te dará por cambiar de trabajo, de casa, de empresa, de país, de clima, tal vez te des a la promiscuidad, al alcohol, a los viajes, a las clases de cocina, las drogas o al psicoanálisis. 

De hecho, tal vez juntes todas esas cosas, y durante un tiempo te servirán. Claro que llegará el día en que te despiertes en una nueva habitación y con un nuevo novio y distinto papel pintado en las paredes, en una ciudad diferente con un clima distinto y con un fajo de facturas de tu agencia de viajes y del psiquiatra, y aún así... la luz que se cuela por la ventana te producirá la misma sensación.

Joaquín, disimulas peor que bailas...

- no creo... - 

<3

NYC

No es fácil describir esa sensación que te invade tras 7 horas de vuelo y piensas... estoy al otro lado del mundo. Al otro lado de todo. Familia. Amigos. Recuerdos.

Y no para empezar de cero. Eso no. Sino para dejarlo todo de lado. Unas horas. Unos días.

Nueva York te espera ahí fuera, a solo unos pasos.

Ya no soy...

esa niña perdida en la sombras de un bosque irreal. 

Eso es que huías tú de mí?

Hola Eponine, qué tal te va? Hoy no te he visto por aquí.
Eso es que no has mirado bien.
Eso es que huías tú de mí.

Nunca te cansas de leer? No es que no tenga esa inquietud, no juzgues por lo que se ve, puede que sepa más que tú.
Eso que sabes, Eponine... en estos libros nunca está.
Me gusta verte el pelo así!
Me gusta verte bromear...

Qué sabrá él! Qué ciego está!